What am I worth?

So many times we base our personal worth on the opinions of others. We do it at work, in society, in friendships, in personal relationships, even in marriage. We fall into the idea of "not being good enough" or "not meeting the other persons expectations" We even find ourselves loosing hope in a brighter future because we feel like we are falling short of what we THINK people expect of us--in that way we tell ourselves "I will never be good enough for anyone". We close ourselves off to finding joy in each other for fear of rejection, disappointment or disapproval. A while ago I found this image...and it spoke to my heart. I am enough.... I AM ENOUGH....I am enough for myself, I am enough for anyone...take me as I am today, without expecting me to be different or to change to fit your expectations... take me with all my imperfections, and weaknesses along with all my strengths and abilities. I AM ENOUGH. Now that does not mean I do not need to give all that I can to others, to improve and do better in human relationships or in life in general, but it does mean that I should be taken as I am. If I change it is because I choose to, it is because I see a personal need for improvement not because it was expected of me or because I was told I needed to. If there is a flaw in me, it is a part of who I am, and no one in this world is perfect so be sure if you look at my flaws you are seeing your own first. We are imperfect beings trying to live in an imperfect world, but I believe that a Perfect Being knows me for who I was, for who I am, and for who I can become, and through that knowledge I know that in everything else, and for anyone else. I AM ENOUGH.

One stitch out of place

Have you ever worked on a Cross Stitch pattern? A simple combination of little "x's" stitched onto fabric using varied colors create a beautiful image.

I used to do this all the time.  It was almost therapeutic to move the needle in and out, up and down as the image would begin to take shape. There is a pattern that you follow, with instructions on what color to use, how many strands of thread goes through the needle and even what kind of "x" to make.

I would often get into such a rhythm that I would not realize until several stitched later that I had made a mistake. I had not paid close attention to the pattern, I had not counted the exact number of "x's" on that row, so now my stitched were off and the pattern no longer lined up correctly.

Now in most cases I would be the only one that would know it was off, I could hide it with a different color or just move the next line over a little bit. But in doing so it was marred in some way, no longer perfect. Other cases it was very evident that I had erred in my design, it no longer reflected the pattern I was following.

The choice was to either leave it, knowing it was wrong and justifying the error by saying "It was just one stitch that was off" or "It doesn't really matter that it is different from the pattern".

Or I could go back and remove each incorrect stitch until I was back to where the error took place. I would then start over on that section and making my way across the fabric, the pattern now correct and in line with the instructions provided. The mistake was no longer there, it had been erased.

You probably already see the analogy that is coming.

We are going through life following the pattern set by our Father in Heaven and our Savior and brother Jesus Christ. They provided us with an amazing set of instructions. They are simple and yet detailed. We use many different colors as we make choices each day creating the beautiful image of our lives.

And yes....we make mistakes. We get distracted and wander from the pattern we are trying to complete. We do not pay close attention to the instructions, or where we are putting the needle or even what color of thread we are using.

We can pretend that nothing happened, we can just quietly realign ourselves with the pattern and continue on, but we will always see the "x" that is in the wrong place, or that is the wrong color. And the person who created the instructions and the pattern will also know it is wrong.

Or we can go back to where we made the mistake.... we can confess the error, and sincerely repent by removing it from the pattern of our life. And then we can go forward creating the perfect image according to the pattern of the gospel we are following.

President Boyd K. Packer said " The Atonement leaves no tracks, no traces. What it fixes is fixed, It heals...and what is heals stays healed.

What an amazing gift we have been given. I plan on following the pattern closely and removing any incorrect stitches I make along the way.

Perspective

When I look out the window what do I see

As the world unfolds in front of me?

I see beauty , I see life….I see chaos and strife

Two sides to a coin, opposing views

How I see the world is mine to choose.

When I look at a stranger, friend or neighbor

And glimpse behind the shield the favor

I see love, kindness…and I see hope sprout

I see anger, frustration…and I see doubt,

Two souls, One person. Opposing views

How I see those around me is mine to choose.

When I look in the mirror, who do I see

In the person staring back at me?

I see courage and beauty… a person divine

I see fear, anxiety and darkness entwine.

Two faces, one person-opposing views

How I see myself, is mine to choose

Perception is tricky, it clouds our thoughts

I tells us to judge without seeing the cost

Two sides, two souls, two faces, which path?

For me I will choose the better half.

The Long Way Home

Have you ever taken the long way home....on purpose? I love doing this. In fact I try to find a new way home as often as I can. Why? Because it teaches me to see....

I have heard the saying "Seeing is believing" But I also have heard "Believing is the beginning of Seeing". I believe we live in an amazing, beautiful world. We are surrounded by it, but in our busy daily lived how often do we stop to actually look at it?

I had a co-worker comment on a photo I took one snowy morning. It was of a little cottage just up the road from our office. It sits back against the trees like a little hideaway. I have always loved the look of this house. This particular morning it was covered with a fresh blanket of snow. I had to stop and catch the moment. My co-worker said that now...whenever he drives by that house he sees it in a different way.

I also take my camera with me almost every day. Some days I never use it, others it becomes my therapy session. I even named my camera "Videre" which means "To See". And yes, I do see so much more through its eyes...

Even on trips, whenever possible,  I choose a different way home than the one I took to get there. And I am never disappointed.

The Long Way Home does not always mean the amount of miles driven...it means taking the time to see what you are driving past. Appreciating the diversity in people, the colors of the parks, the trees, the mountains, the clouds.... did you know they change every day?

"Take time to notice the things that other people are missing"

Gaining an answer through Prayer

This morning I opened the scriptures to 1 Nephi 18-19. I was seeking direction for how to better share what I am learning with my family and others but I was sent in another direction and received inspiration on enduring trials and obtaining answers to prayers. Some of the scriptures that touched me were: 1 Nephi 18:3, 1 Nephi 18:16 and 1 Nephi 19:9. (you can read them for yourself :) ).

I then turned to my Conference talks and read Gary E. Stevenson's talk titled "Look to the Book". How grateful I am for the Book of Mormon. Reading it regularly this past month has changed me in so many subtle ways. His challenge to replace social media with even just 10 minutes of study a day is not to much to ask. He also said

"They will strengthen your faith, fill your soul with light, and prepare you for a future you scarcely have the ability to comprehend.

Within the book’s pages, you will discover the infinite love and incomprehensible grace of God. As you strive to follow the teachings you find there, your joy will expand, your understanding will increase, and the answers you seek to the many challenges mortality presents will be opened to you. As you look to the book, you look to the Lord."

I then found myself wandering into the topic of how to receive answers to prayers. I really struggle with this. I often want answers quickly and clearly. But this is not God's way.

We are told in D&C 9:8 "But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right." But what if we don't get that feeling or maybe we are not sure we received an answer?

I love Elder Richard G. Scott (I miss hearing him speak). As I search this topic two of his Conference talks came up.

April 2007-Using the supernal gift of prayer

October 1989-Learning to recognize Answers to prayers.

Well worth the read. He stated:

"He is our perfect Father. He loves us beyond our capacity to understand. He knows what is best for us. He sees the end from the beginning. He wants us to act to gain needed experience:

When He answers yes, it is to give us confidence.

When He answers no, it is to prevent error.

When He withholds an answer, it is to have us grow through faith in Him, obedience to His commandments, and a willingness to act on truth. We are expected to assume accountability by acting on a decision that is consistent with His teachings without prior confirmation. We are not to sit passively waiting or to murmur because the Lord has not spoken. We are to act."

One quote especially I touched my heart.

"He will always hear your prayers and will invariably answer them. However, His answers will seldom come while you are on your knees praying, even when you may plead for an immediate response. Rather, He will prompt you in quiet moments when the Spirit can most effectively touch your mind and heart. Hence, you should find periods of quiet time to recognize when you are being instructed and strengthened. His pattern causes you to grow." 

Answers to questions I didn't ask

I was reading my scriptures yesterday and as per my new way of doing things I started with a prayer asking for direction in some very specific topics. I began with the Book of Mormon, sharing some time with Nephi and his family in 1 Nephi. (Nephi always amazes me with how courageous he is with is testimony).

I then turned to the 2016 General Conference talks. I have chosen to read through all of them prior to the upcoming conference in April. Carol F. McConkie  was the talk for today.

She began with the statement "Men ought to always pray and not faith". 

She went on to talk about how to pray to our Father in Heaven.

• We pray to our Father in Heaven-He will console you in your afflictions and ye may feast upon His love. 
• We pray in the name of Jesus Christ-Because our salvation is in Christ, only through Him are we saved. He is our advocate with the Father. 
• We pray by the power of the Holy Ghost. D&C 46:30

It is important to know how to receive answers to our prayer-What is God's intention, what is His will concerning me?  D&C 101:16-Be still and know that I am God. 

Sincere desires offered in a spirit of gratitude for abundant blessings and gratitude for the lessons of life instill in our hearts steadfast faith in Christ, a “brightness of HOPE, and a love of God and of all men". 

Prayer is a GIFT from God-It is precious time with out Father in Heaven,

When I finished this talk and reviewed my notes I was at first a little disappointed, I closed my study with prayer and began to go about my day. 

Then this thought intruded on my mind. 

"Where were you when you prayed? Where was your mind?" 

I had an image come to me of a child talking to their parent. The parent was multi-tasking while the child talked. She claimed "I am listening I hear you." But the child recognized that she wasn't really listening, not with sincerity, patience and focused attention on her. 

I realized then that God had answered me. He just answered a question I had not asked. 

How can I receive the answers I am seeking? 

The answer was I need to listen better.....

Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.

HOPE

Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable. 

This month I chose HOPE for my theme. I am normally known as a positive person. In fact it drives my children crazy. They would come to me with their frustrations and I would start to point out all the positives. They did not like that. 

March is a month of HOPE. We see the seasons change, the blossoms begin to appear, Spring is on the doorstep. We feel it in the air. 

I know when I get in a dark place, I fight to get out. I can't breathe there. HOPE is what gets me out of bed in the morning, helps me take that first step each day. It is what allows me to close my eyes at night. HOPE is what makes each trial bearable. 

HOPE leads to faith, which leads to humility. We will receive the Holy Ghost (the comforter)  who will fill us with HOPE and that will lead to charity the pure love of Christ. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. 

When I find myself loosing hope, Despair takes its place. For me despair

has no place in my life.

2 Nephi 31:20

Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life. 

HOPE shineth brightly before us.....it is what guides my path each day.