FIREWORK

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, Drifting throught the wind, Wanting to start again
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin, Like a house of cards, One blow from caving in
Do you ever feel already buried deep, Six feet under scream, But no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that tehre's still a chance for you, Cause there's a spark in you
You just gotta ignite the light, And let it shine, Just own the night, Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework! Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby you're a firework! Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space, You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds, After a hurricane comes a rainbow
Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow, And when it's time, you'll know
You just gotta ignite the light, And let it shine, Just own the night. Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework! Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby you're a firework! Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own
Boom, boom, boom! Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you. And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework! Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby you're a firework! Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!" You're gunna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"
Boom, boom, boom! Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom! Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

My sanctuary

There is a little sanctuary

Colored a peaceful shade of blue

Where you can hide away from the world

and find peace so true.

The chimes outside dance in the wind

A soothing melody,

It opens up the mind to seek

Gifts of creativity.

In this room your mind is free

To take pencil or pen in hand

A painting, a story, a poem, or a sketch

Whatever your heart demands.

The walls are lined with many books

that take you to a faraway place.

Others have pictures on every page

That brings a smile to anyone’s face.

You will find creatures that are soft to hold

They bring comfort to a weary soul.

If you hold one close to your heart you’ll sense

A sweet peace that makes you feel whole.

There are words of wisdom on the walls

From the wisest of ones I know

Pooh & Piglet, Wild Things, and Suess

Advice to help us all grow.

In one corner stands a wise old tree

Where under the branches you’ll find,

A soft chair that says “come sit, come rest,

And ease your weary mind.”

This sanctuary is yours to have

To escape the stresses of the day

To feel young at heart, to refresh your soul

To remember how to play.

So come inside, enter in

and sit beneath the tree

it won’t be long before you find

yourself lost in childhood memories.

All will be well

Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-9
My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all they foes. Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.

HOPE

HOPE: The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: To look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.To believe, desire, or trust: To feel that something desired may happen....

I feel a lack of hope....or I did. But even now that feeling it tainted by the reality of the situation. 

A teaser...a possibility based on an event....it may or may not mean anything...it may just be a token effort to make amends, or out of personal need. It doesn't mean anything has changed, it doesn't mean the end will be different. It just means that for now there is a place of balance....for today I can ease the pain.

But tomorrow? The reality remains, all is not well.

Do I prepare for the worst and hope for the best or hope for the best and prepare for the worst? It is all in how my mind is set, how I choose to be....

I don't know which it will be...for I don't know what to believe in anymore. 

Whisperings

This morning I woke with a heavy heart. Hope was a fleeting thought. I went through the motions of the day and tried to keep my turmoil to myself.
I found in my church bag the magnets I had made for the lesson in relief society. The image of the child jumping for joy with the words REJOICE in the middle stood out in my mind. I struggled to take the message into my heart. I gave one to Kirsten my youngest daughter and told her to remember that there was much to rejoice over in the world. She smiled and her face lit up. She said in a tone of conviction.."I know." She then shared the experience she had the night before as she read her scriptures. She was reading in Alma where Amulek was teaching King Laman. He expressed his desire to know the truth of God. She took the message as "if someone who doesn't really know that God exists has such faith to know why do I...who all ready knows struggle to just believe?" She was so excited about the message she had received that during sacrament she was almost shaking with energy. She finally got up and bore her testimony about the message she had learned. It was a pure testimony one of truth and simplicity.
I felt the spirit whisper confirmation to me that my Savior is with me, that he loves me and that he knows my pain. the confirmation that I am strong enough to see this through to whatever end comes. The truth that I can only change myself, and in that process I will find the answers I am seeking and the peace that has recently eluded me. I could not deny what I was told and so in turn bore my own testimony of what I had learned from my daughter.

I heard the message....now I need to trust in it. 

My safe place....a memory put to paper.