Today

Today in Church and at  home the message were clear.

First a BYU devotional on TV on the chaos in the homes how to avoid it, how to realize where the Chaos is coming from. Then a Sunday School message on the Chaos and Oppression that the deceiver is spreading over the world, and our simple choice to have Faith in the power of God, his plan and his love for us... with a special focus on Isaiah 53 wherein it describes the plan and the Savior's atoning sacrifice, followed by a lesson in Relief Society on Repentance.

How grateful I am that I felt in tune with the spirit today and listened to the messages being taught,  because the minute I got home I was once again bombarded with the doubts, the bitterness, and the whisperings of negativity that seem to pervade my thoughts these days.

And so I look to the scriptures and my faith in the Savior to give me direction and strength as I continue to try to put my life in order, and bring the spirit in to my home.

Matt. 14: 31

And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

 

D&C 6: 36

Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.

Choice made.
Price paid.
Consequence determined.
She carries the burden.
Seeking release?
A place of peace...
His hands bare the sign.
The offering divine.
The deceivers words sway.
And pride bars the way.
The spirit inside,
whispers...Turn to the light!
His promise for all,
Who on their knees fall.
Turning their hearts from the world
Trusting their burdens to the Lord
Remembering...
Choice made
Price paid
Soul saved.

reflecting on the past....

So I started a new blog....one specifically for my work. In the process of putting it together I had to reminisce about the experiences I have had in my line of work, what brought me into the field, what I wanted to get out of it and what I have learned from it. The new blog address is http://discoverthejourney2010.blogspot.com/
Perhaps I have to many blogs....I am not doing well on keeping the ones I have up to date, but the discover the journey is dedicated to my experiences as a foster parent, and in working with kids who are at a disadvantage in this all ready hard world.
I only hope something I say will be of help to others....

Conference

Ok, so God knows us, hears our please, and answers them. Elder Richard G. Scott clearly answered my question regarding where answers come from. He stated that it isn't always an easy path, that it takes patience, and understanding, that we need to rely on God and the Holy Ghost to answer our pleas. He stated that it is a wonderful gift that we can go to God for help. Sister Mastumori also commented on the correct way to ask for and receive inspiration. And finally on Sunday Elder Russel M. Neilson also explained the wonderful process that we are privileged to have. The Holy Ghost is a gift from God, one that we can rely on if we are truly listening to the quiet messages sent to us.

General Relief Society meesages to me.

I was grateful for the opportunity to attend General Relief Society Saturday evening. I even took notes as I searched for answers for the questions I have been facing.

The messages I found for myself were:

Eliminate the non-essentials in your life.
Visiting Teaching is an official calling-it is a faith based work and is never "finished".
Never suppress a generous thought.
If we do our part in giving service, angels will be our associates.
The gap is the place between what we know is right and what we actually do.
There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God.
Feelings of charity come from God.

***Angles do not come in the form of cards,
but in service opportunities that are either given or received.***

Messages.....

Messages come from many sources, the Holy Ghost being the main source. Others may be prompted to tell you something, this being an answer. Sometimes we do not like the source that the answer comes from so we reject it or deny the possibility of the truth told to us.

What is confusing is that the world has many ideas on getting answers for questions. Psychics, tarot cards, etc... those using these methods feel they are in tune with the "other side" and that they can help you seek the answers for the questions you are faced with.

Recently I had someone use one of these methods on me. The were using what was called "Angel Cards." I was told to place them on my heart for a time. Then I pulled four random cards from the deck. It was a rather interesting combination of messages-I have been considering my current job and the stress that comes from it.. I am gone a lot and working a lot, I am distracted and closed off. It has caused a lot of stress at home. I have wondered whether I should return to school to gain some more specific skills ion my position so that I am better capable of doing my job. But how do I take on one more thing? How do I add something more to my schedule? I have felt a huge frustration with my marriage, I am distant from John, and I have a lot of frustrating feelings that I do not know how to express, they are selfish and will probably cause more harm than good. So I remain silent and I bury my feelings, but they are still there. In my job I have been pulled away from the clients, I no longer have interaction with them and I miss that, yet there is no way to change that without once again adding to my current work load. No answers.....

But what upsets me most is that these "messages" although so close to what I am currently feeling, are not coming from God. I know that messages or promptings can come from a lot of sources, but are these real? Or are they something to pull me away from the truth, and the promptings of the Holy Ghost? I have felt Satan working on me overtime lately, pulling at my thoughts and emotions, encouraging the bitterness and resentment that I am struggling with. Is this one more ploy to turn me in a different direction?

It is definitely time for some personal reflection....and I know that to do it right I need to turn to God.

One year ago tomorrow my father passed away. Seems a time for reflection.

What have I learned?

Everyone deals with grief in a different way...
Old wounds close slowly...
Memories fade quickly...
The "what ifs" are hard to face...
Death doesn't always changes things...
Ask questions now rather than later...
Take lots of pictures...save them all...
Write things down when they happen so the memory remains fresh...
Put the past in the past and bury it deep...

I love you Dad...wish you were here so I could tell you this in person.